Not so much “in a Nutshell” as “in a Nuthouse”.

It’s a planned itinerary, designed by the Norwegian Tourist Board to show off what Norway has to offer with a series of suggested excursions.

It reads:

• Fjord cruise from Gudvangen to Flåm
• Free time in Flåm
• Journey on the Flåm Railway
• Visit to the Stalheim Folk Museum

We’ve done parts before and it works well, but (and it’s a big but) if the planning and timetabling is wrong, all hell breaks loose… It did.

Edwards’ agent (best guess) took the boiler-plate itinerary from his filing cabinet and didn’t check summer vs shoulder season timetables. The first cruise element was, according to the paperwork, at 11:00. No such sailing today… 12:10. If we’d taken that, we would have missed our Flåm rail departure and so it was decided to go to Flåm first, spend some time there and do the cruise on the way back. This gave us 2+ hours free time in Flåm.

Not a good thing. Flåm is actually two places: the village and the cruise port, the latter being home to some of the most overpriced Norwegian goodies, and food/drink outlets that would make Savoy Grill prices seem like McDonalds. There’s nothing else there, just row on row of wooden buildings and stalls ripping off those who can’t convert Norwegian Kroner to a real currency. For example: Croissant £5, Almond Croissant £7. Helly- Hansen jacket £650. To add to the joys of Flåm, an ocean going apartment complex (Aida Prima) had disgorged around 3000+ people.

The rail journey to Myrdal was a good as remembered… except this time they’d booked a return. Twice, in the same seats, on the same route is not twice as good and it’s an hour each way.

The rail timetable meant the cruise departure would have to be at 17:30. The original plan was to be back at the hotel for 17:00. Ooops! This could also have meant another two glorious hours in the Flåm cruise port.

Richard always trys to fix the unfixable and had learnt of a 16th Century church in Flåm village. “Worth giving it a go,” he suggested, “and it will kill maybe 90 minutes of Flåm time.” He was right. It wasn’t a tourist attraction but was charming, interesting and “real” in a lovely small village.

Fortunately the folk museum is located at our hotel, and so, by slightly delaying our departure tomorrow, he succeeded in reinstating the folk museum tour for first thing in the morning..

The cruise left on time… and it started to rain. In all fairness, the ship was modern and impeccably clean and well laid out. There was wonderful scenery. Fjords are alway best seen when sailing along them. It was worth the hassle. However, as we’d missed our (non-refundable) departure this morning, putting matters right by rebooking the later departure cost Edwards £1,200 - but Richard refused to short-change his passengers.

The cruise docked at 19:20 and we were back at the hotel for around 19:45. Fortunately a buffet meant there was no actual dinnertime to match. Most of us went back to our rooms for a quick “freshen” and went down to the dining room.

What was planned to be the highlight of the trip turned out to be a day of disappointments. The original day was planned to be 10:00 - 17:00 (excluding the Folk Museum). 7 hours instead of 9½ hours. That extra 150 minutes of hanging around or killing time (plus a pointless 60 minutes on the train) was what put the dampener on what had the potential of a great day out.

Still, it’s provided lots of stories to tell, and I’m sure we’ll be able to joke about it… in a few year’s time.